Are you willing to do what it takes?
Today I want to talk about the inner shift that precedes any meaningful and sustainable change, including (and especially), the decision to begin living life in alignment with the truth in your Soul.
The first step to living a Soul-Led life instead of an ego or externally driven life, is getting really sick of the way things are currently going to the point that you are willing to enter the unknown and try on something different.
This initial moment of willingness to surrender to the unknown is your breaking point.
It is the point at which you break free from the illusion that the way your life (or an aspect of your life) is going is “fine” and acknowledge to yourself the possibility of another way.
In coaching we call this phenomenon having a break down and breaking through to something new that previously was not possible for you. Hitting your breaking point (going through the process of breakdown to breakthrough) is necessary for meaningful change.
Discipline alone may carry you through small changes, but it will not carry you through the kind of inner transformation needed to truly change the circumstances of your life in a way that will last.
This is because transformation cannot be created simply by applying strategies you already know in regular repetition (the kind of thing discipline is good for). Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for discipline in transformation, once the initial shift has taken place and you are strengthening your muscle of living in a new way. Using discipline as the only agent of change, however, will simply not sustainably work.
The first shift in transformation is the one that occurs at the breaking point, and it is an inner one. It is subtle and occurs without any application of discipline. It cannot be forced. It can be understood by your mind as the new awareness you receive, experienced in the body as exhaustion and surrender, felt in the heart as letting go or grieving of the old, and the readiness or opening of your being to something new.
Essentially, you become willing.
You become willing to be uncomfortable. You become willing to consider you might be wrong about beliefs you have held for a very long time - beliefs about yourself, others, and the world around you. You become willing to hear and accept your own truth. You become willing to take a risk and step into the unknown. You become willing to face your fears.
So, the question I have for you today is, are you willing?
You almost certainly have goals and dreams that you want to be pursuing right now. Maybe you made resolutions or set intentions for the new year. How are these going? Have you made progress? Are you taking consistent action?
If not, consider that the 'problem' is not that you are too busy, or that you don't have enough time, or ________ (insert whatever reason you tell yourself for why you are not moving forward).
Instead, consider that your block is actually a lack of willingness. Maybe you have simply not yet hit your breaking point - the point at which you truly become willing to make the change.
If you have a dream or goal you wish you were making more progress on, I invite you to ask yourself these questions:
Are you willing to set aside the time and the resources required to achieve your dream or goal? Are you willing to put in place the structures and ask for the support that you need to keep on going day after day? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to make any sacrifices in service of it? Are you willing to do what it takes?
Answer these questions honestly. Without judgment if you can. No right. No wrong. Only you and your truth, whatever it might be.
You may realize that if you are being honest with yourself you are not yet truly willing to make the change you desire. If so, you may need to change your goals or make some adjustments to your plans. You may need to take a step back.
Or, you may realize that you have in fact hit your breaking point with the way things were, you are truly willing to make the change, and all that is needed is a little more practice, or a few more steps, before you begin to see the tangible benefits of the change. You may need to double down your support systems, get back out there, and give it all you got.
Where you go from this point depends solely on whether you have hit your breaking point with the way things have been going, and whether you are truly willing to do what it takes to create your life another way.
When it comes to these kinds of conversations with yourself, honesty is always the best policy. Even if your honest answer is a tough pill to swallow, it will beat the disappointment and heartbreak you will experience later if you try to force yourself to change something that you are honestly not ready for right now. Forcing yourself to change will never work, at least not sustainably.
So give yourself the space to be honest with yourself, and have compassion for your answers. Even if you find you aren’t truly willing right now to make the change you seek, do not despair. Just keep doing things the old way and keep feeling the consequences, and your breaking point will be right around the corner.
Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but I’ve been doing this long enough to know that it’s the truth. And the truth is always worth knowing, even when it hurts.
xo,
Danielle