Loving Yourself Through Uncertainty

Dear friends, 

It's Thursday! (For those of you who have, for better and worse, lost all track of the days of the week and of time.)

This week I hit a bit of a slump. The recent changes to my day to day life, and the uncertainty in the world caught up with me. I have been allowing some older patterns of avoidance and self-criticism to occupy my time and my thoughts. 

I am noticing both how draining it is to not have compassion for myself, and also how far I have come in transforming that deep set belief of not good enough. It used to take me out almost daily. Now it only shows up in times of large scale trauma and uncertainty. 

The truth is we are all facing our fears right now on some level, however they show up for us. We are facing the fact that we have so little control and so big an impact. The responsibility of it can be crushing. The pull to avoid and numb out can be strong. 

This is why my practice this week has been radical self-love. Simply expanding to allow myself my experience even when its hard. Especially when its hard.

When the judgment and the shame shows up, that's when I love myself harder. All the way down to the core where my inner child is throwing a tantrum. She just wants to be picked up and held. She just wants to be told that she will be safe and she will be loved, no matter what. 

Practicing expansive love for myself is something I have complete control of. No one can take that away. This is the place I return to when so much has been swept into uncertainty. 

In times of transition it is the small step taken in a new way that makes possible the large scale transformation. If you want a more kind and loving world for yourself and your loved ones when this is over, practice loving yourself and your loved ones that way today. 

If you are panicking, if you are scared, if you are grieving, if you are lost, if you are so angry your blood is boiling, just pause. 

Step outside yourself for a moment. Don't shame yourself or beat yourself up. Don't make yourself wrong. Hold yourself like you would a child having a tantrum and let the emotions run out. They will run out. And you will find yourself on the other side, holding yourself lovingly still.

You will find that you not abandoning yourself in the times when it is hard, is actually the miracle you are looking for.

When you love yourself in the face of your fear, you take back your power from the fear, and from those who would use your fear to hurt you. When you love yourself in the face of your fear, you cannot be controlled. You cannot be manipulated or coerced. You cannot be tricked (even by yourself) into behaving in ways that harm yourself or others.

When you love yourself in the face of your fear, you regain a sense of sovereignty over your own being, and you realize that it is this sovereignty that you were missing most, even more than visiting your friends, a regular paycheck or eating out.

When you can trust yourself to love yourself in the face of your fear, you regain a sense of peace. You remember that you can still choose, and you are still free.  

With love,

Danielle