I feel dissatisfied and I don`t know why...I feel overwhelmed and there`s no end in sight...I am trying so hard and I just never get there...other people and things keep getting in the way...it feels impossible.
I`m sure you`ve heard people say these or similar things in describing their frustration with their current lot in life. Maybe you`ve even used a few choice phrases yourself. I know I have. But over the last year I`ve realised that these sayings, and my entire approach to fixing my life, was wrong.
So its time to get real about why most of us aren`t living lives that we absolutely LOVE. What is it that really gets in the way?
The answer is...you. A demonic version of you that takes over, usually in reaction to fear. We become these demons usually without realising it, and without awareness of their powerful negative effects on our overall well being.
As with all things, the first step is raising awareness, so today I`m going to break each of these demons down, and hopefully make them easier for you to identify when they show up in your own life.
There are 3 types of demons we embody that prevent us from creating a life that we LOVE.
1. The Not-so-Visionary
The person who is confused or lost / without passion or purpose - this person says, “I don’t have a passion”, “I just don’t know what I enjoy, never mind love”, “I keep flip flopping back and forth”, “`There are so many things I want to do - I can’t choose”, “I change my goals daily, weekly, or at least monthly”, “I just can’t stick with anything”.
This person will be super organized with calendars and schedules and lists for everything. And they will always follow through on everything they say they will do. There will be no blaming, no excuses; nothing gets in the way. The problem is, their plan and their actions are stepping stones in someone else’s vision. They don’t actually know what personally makes them happy, or what their IDEALS are. For all their planning and doing, they still feel like something is missing.
2. Mad Scientist
The person who has no systems or plan in place – this person says “I know what I want but I don’t have enough time to get it all done”, “I’m all over the place”, “I feel like I’m always trying to do a million different things”, “I have no structure”, “I’m working so hard but I’m not seeing the results”.
Mad scientists have mainly systems based problems. They will know without a doubt what their IDEALS are and they will be out there constantly doing things and taking action with that vision in mind, but kind of haphazardly, maybe even recklessly. Their lives resemble a child throwing ball of putty at the wall hoping it sticks. Sometimes it might latch on to its destination for a little while, but it eventually falls and they have to pick it up and give it another toss. Long term they get worn out because their everyday actions are not part of a larger sustainable plan to get them to their goals.
3. Execution Excuser
The procrastinator / blame thrower / excuse maker – this person says “I know what I want and what I need to do to get it, I just can’t bring myself to do it”, “I would but ________”, “I will when ________”, “if only _________”, “I have no motivation”, “I don’t have good habits”, “I need more self discipline”, “things or people keep getting in the way”.
This person will know without a doubt what their IDEALS are. Maybe they want to be prime minister, or CEO of a national company, or an artist, or a revered human rights lawyer. It doesn’t matter. In each case the person will have researched their given field, and the people who are doing it, long and hard. They will know exactly what it takes to get to the top, and how to do it. They will have a well thought out plan for achieving their vision, but year after year, all they will do is talk about it, and make excuses for why they aren’t taking any of the actions in their well thought out plan.
The bad news...
Each of the above demons are fatal, in that each on its own can be sufficient to prevent you from living a life you LOVE. Most people however are tormented by all three in varying degrees, and different demons show up in different areas of their life. And there is no doubt that embodying aspects of each can also be a lethal mix. Even occasional visits from a demon here and there can detract from your happiness and fulfillment, set you off course, and delay or derail you from achieving a life you LOVE.
Now for the good news...
Happily, each of these demons can easily be warded off, or banished (in the event you are already tormented by one or more of them - as most of us are). The two main ingredients for doing so are 1) a lot of awareness and 2) a willingness to get outside your comfort zone.
Many of my other posts touch on strategies for warding off or banishing one or more of the above demons, and I’m sure to tackle them again in the future as they rear their heads in my own life, or as I come across some helpful strategies to share. For now, I will simply challenge you to raise some awareness around your demons - to take a look at the different areas in your own life and ask yourself this question:
Who am I BEING that is getting in the way of creating a life I LOVE?
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