On The Knife Edge

Today's episode is a spoken word reading on surrender and faith. I call it, On The Knife Edge. The poem is also in written form below. 

On The Knife Edge

I see these pages ending and I wonder
Have I converted?
Have I surrendered?

I feel on the edge of, panic and peace
Panic and peace
Knowing the futility - other than entertainment - of the first
I choose the second.

Hoping it will become easier
Hoping it will become easier to trust things as they are
To trust things are exactly as the should be
As they couldn't be
Any different.

Loving fully anyway.

I feel strongly desire in me
Yet I know this time alone I need.

I am grateful for the strength building in who I am
I am grateful for the strength
I feel building
In who I am.

My emotions are ferocious
Yet they do not scar me
They do not scar me anymore.

I have stopped fighting them
And allowed them to wash over me
Without rocking my core
Without rocking me to the core.

I can choose love in any moment
And find peace where love is far
And faith in the absence of both.

I do not feel shame at my needs
And I can satisfy them.

Nothing is perfect by any means.
Nothing is perfect by any means.

Give me a sign
I plead, give me a sign
Not knowing the answer to any of it
Loaded with strategies to last a lifetime
And bursting with a love so big
I tone it down
I tone down its intensity.

I wonder what to do next
And how did I end up here?

What do you do?
What do you do
When you searched everywhere
For an answer
You just couldn't find?

I trust you are holding it for me.

I keep thinking of the word faith
Painted across the wall
Painted across the sky
I literally cannot go on without it.

I'd need to know why.
I'd need to know why.

No I am not giving up
I am not giving up
I am giving in.

I am not giving up
I am giving in.

This is what you signed up for, isn't it? 

This is what you signed up for
Balancing on this edge
On this knife edge
Balancing on the knife edge of uncertainty
Never knowing
Always having to choose.


Danielle RondeauComment